Today I read a post from Single Dad Laughing, a blog written by single dad Dan about his life and his experiences with his son Noah. The post was Real Dads Play With Their Kids. As I read through the post I thought about John and how he takes the time to spend with our boys playing each day.
It is not always physical play. Somedays they build legos, others they play games together on the Xbox or computer, but no matter what they are playing the boys go to bed each night happy, content, and knowing that their dad loves them.
As I got to the bottom of the post I started to read some of the comments. I also started to notice a pattern, mainly from moms, saying they wished their children had a dad like Dan in their lives. They commented about their children missing out on so much, because they didn't have the same kind of male role model.
It was these comments that prompted this post.
If REAL dads can play with their kids, why can't REAL moms?
I have an amazing friend that I have been getting to know more closesly over these last three months. I watch her often with her kids and I always think to myself, "Now there is a REAL mom! I want to be that kind of mom!" I watch her play with her kids, love on her kids, wipe their tears, and laugh with them. The absolute love and adoration these kids have for their mom is amazing!
On the drive home from a family dinner last night I told John how much I wish I could be a REAL mom. The kind of mom who worries less about her house, the outside world and to be honest facebook. I told him how much I wanted to be the kind of mom who my boys could talk to about anything, run to when they needed tears wiped from their cheeks, and the mom who could rough house, play legos and just spend time with my boys.
Then John said something that made me question how I look at it all.
"So why don't you? Why are YOU keeping YOU from being a REAL mom?"
After the intial anger and resentment that felt at being told it was my fault, and trying to come up with reasons on why I couldn't be that mom, I realized he was right!
Why am I keeping myself from being a REAL mom? Why do moms assume because there is no male role in their home, or no positive male role, that they can't fill in that gap.
Obviously there are things a dad supplies to a child that a mom can not. The same goes for the role of a mother, but what is stopping us moms from playing with our kids?
Why is it we don't get outside and throw a football, teach our kids how to play baseball or soccer, play in the sandbox, roll in the grass and just have fun? Why is it that moms are judged on the way they look, the order of their house and the food they put on the table?
When you hear people talk about good moms, usually the dialogue is something like this;
"Keri is a such a good mom she always has a clean house, yummy dinners and she looks amazing!"
"I wish I was a good mom like Sandy, her kids are always so clean! So is her house! And have you seen how amazing she looks after having four kids!"
Why don't we ever here:
"look at that amazing mom! She is covered dirt, grass stains on her knees, and her kids are climbing all over her! I wish I could be that mom!"
My sister in law told me last night that we as moms need to start watching ourselves. There is a darkness slowly taking over our homes, as we spend more time figuring out how we can make money, going to get our hair and nails done, and cleaning our house, than we do watching and playing with our kids as they grow.
Moms, your kids are growing so fast and one day you will be able to have the immaculate house, the model perfect body and the gourmet chef dinners.
So today I challenge us all! Get up off the couch, turn off facebook, throw something in the crockpot or marinade some meat for the BBQ, and get out there and play with our kids! They only stay little for so long and you really will miss out on the best years if you don't do it now!
So get dirty, get rough and be a REAL MOM!